One can only imagine the good intentions of people who send out some very odd wedding gifts. Or, maybe, they weren’t meant to be taken at face value? What exactly are people trying to say when they give the supposedly lucky couple the following:
- Rolls and rolls of quarters – Sure, money is a classic wedding gift, almost like diamonds are with the engagement, but when that money comes in laboriously stacked coins that need heavy machinery to lift and move, you have to wonder why they bothered. Are they afraid you will suddenly run out of change for something?
- Stacks of single dollar bills – No one is going to turn down $100, even if it comes in single dollar bills. But, either someone raided a piggy bank to get you the gift, or they felt inclined to make sure you didn’t spend it all at once, or at least make it hard to do so.
- Decorations in poor taste – Whether the gift is a beautiful frame with your new wife and her ex-boyfriend in the picture, bookends with nudes or wild jungle motifs, or any other home decorating item that is going to cause a stir and imply an obligation to showcase it, better think twice. It’s like the joke of the mother-in-law who has lost possession of her son so she makes sure she puts something ugly in your home to make up for it. And, then she visits often and if it’s not on display makes a point of seeming hurt – very passive aggressive.
Then, there are those where maybe the shopper was suddenly struck by the lack of a gift to that all-important wedding, so they grab the nearest thing and wrap it up for you. Don’t be surprised to get the following in that case:
- Produce or wine – Hey, at least they’re useful, right? Much better than getting that zebra rug your new mother-in-law knows will make your living room look tacky. So, be gracious, drink up, and enjoy!
- Kitchen utensils – As odd as it may be to get a melon baller, a corkscrew, or a pizza pan, the point is you are going to be making a new household together. These things might come in handy and you can always hide them in your drawers and forget about them or sell them at a garage sale, if worse comes to worse.
Other well-meaning, but genuinely weird, wedding presents can range from natural home birthing videos, pet toys, gag gifts that fail to get a laugh, and books or games on topics you don’t care much about or are from a fringe element you didn’t know existed in your friends.
No matter what the gifts, unless it’s an outright nasty note written on toilet paper or a recycled gift card, it’s always better to just send out those thank you notes, and give the giver the benefit of the doubt and smile. Don’t let the weirdos spoil your wedding, or the honeymoon.