Popular Wedding Customs Explained
American weddings tend to depend heavily on traditions. All weddings have personal touches, but some things never change. For instance consider the procession down the aisle, the positioning of the bride and groom, the attendants present — all these things are based in tradition, even though few realize why, and even less even notice the traditions! Many of these traditions have been in place since the medieval period, and most are somehow based on a superstition. Here are a few traditions explained, for the more curious brides and grooms.
The Dress
In wedding tradition white has always represented purity. To this day, women who get married a second time sometimes choose a pearl color or a similar off-white, and reserve solid white for their first wedding only. However, the purity behind the wedding dress tradition is usually ignored, because little girls dream of wearing a beautiful flowing white dress down the aisle from an early age, and stick with those dreams when the time comes. White has been chosen as a traditional wedding color for centuries, but it didn’t always represent purity (in Biblical times, the color blue represented purity). The first known white wedding dress was worn by Anne of Brittany in 1499, for her marriage to Louis XII of France. Until then, women simply wore their best dress, whatever color it may have been. White is sometimes considered the color of mourning, which seems approriate became the bride is leaving her family behind to start a new life with her husband. In Roman times, white symbolized a joyful celebration. Until recently it has symbolized purity, and now it is mostly considered as a symbol of happiness.
The Veil
Traditionally, the veil symbolized the bride’s virginity, innocence, and modesty. She remains under the veil also to symbolize that her husband has pledged to protect her. The veil also represents male dominance. If the bride lift’s the veil herself, presenting herself to her husband, she is seen as more independent. Veils came into fashion in the United States when Nelly Curtis wedded George Washington’s aid, Major Lawrence Lewis. Lewis had seen her previously standing behind a milky curtain and told her how beautiful she was. In order to maintain this beauty, she veiled herself for the ceremony.
Something Old, Something New...
This tradition dates back to Victorian times, and is often incorporated into weddings today. “Something old” represents the link the bride has to her family and the past. “Something new” represents good fortune and the hope the bride has for the future with her new husband and family. “Something borrowed” is to remind the bride that her friends and family will be there for her in a time of need. Traditionally, the borrowed item is supposed to come from a happily married woman, so that the woman passes some of her wedding bliss onto the new bride. “Something blue” is the symbol of faithfulness and loyalty. In ancient Israel, brides were a blue ribbon in their hair to symbolize their fidelity. Typically the blue item worn by modern brides is the garter.
Bridesmaids
In ancient Roman times, the tradition was to dress the maids similarly to the bride, so as to confuse evil spirits trying to kidnap the bride. The maids also had the job of fending off unsuitable suitors. Another tradition is that the Maids would just like the bride to fool mortals who wished evil upon the couple — perhaps a rejected suitor.
The Bestman
The Bestman tradition stems from many centuries ago, when a groom could forcibly take his wife-to-be, or kidnap her from her family if she or the family disapproved of him and the union. Often he would meet resistance from the bride’s male family members or other suitors, so he would take along his best man to help him fight for the woman. The Bestman remained by the Groom’s side during the wedding, armed and alert, because the possibility remained that the family would attack at the wedding to get back the bride.
The Bride Stands on the Left, Right?
This dates back to Anglo-Saxon times, when the groom would often have to defend his bride against kidnappers during the ceremony. The bride stood on the groom’s left hand side so that his sword arm was free to attack or defend.
Seating
In ancient times, marriage was often used to resolve conflicts and threats of war. Prior to the Union, the tribes of the bride and groom were still hostile, and therefore were seated on opposite sides to prevent bloodshed.
Giving Away the Bride
Women used to the property of men, and daughters the property of their fathers. The father had to consent to release “ownership” of his daughter to the groom, by giving her away. Now the tradition represents the blessing of the bride’s family upon the union.
First Kiss
In many cultures, it was not customary for the bride and groom to share affection prior to being married. In fact, in some cultures the groom would not even see his bride’s face until the ceremony was complete. because of this, the first kiss has always been more than a simple sign of affection. It has long been a token of bonding — the exchange of spirts between the bride and groom, as each partner sends part of their soul into the other, where it remains eternally.