Gilbert A.
This isn't one of those normal engagement stories where you’ll you go 'Aww...' This story is going to have you laughing, crying, peeing in your pants and thinking “I’m glad it didn’t happen to me.” Here's a little intro to the story. Some time during Nov 2004, I decided, this is the girl I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. I decided then and there I'll do it. I’m going to propose! I created a mock budget for myself, started embezzling my own bill funds to several secret savings accounts, CD's, and Money Market accounts. The idea came to me; here is how I'll propose:
I'll take her on one of our spur of the moment Vegas trips. We usually hop on over when the airfare is low enough and the rooms are free. Feb 14th was the day I asked her to be my girlfriend, so many years ago… so I thought I might ask her to be my wife on that very day as well. Feb 14th, 2006, I'd take her to the Eiffel Tower, in the Paris Hotel, for dinner and have them reserve the house seats for us. For those of you who don't know, that table is right on the corner of the restaurant and overlooks the Vegas strip. Not only that but they are the best seats in the house to watch the evening Bellagio Fountain show. Previously arranged, I would have the waitress bring out a dessert plate, with chocolate writing on the edge asking, "Will You Marry Me?" As she reads the plate, I would drop to one knee and hold out the ring...
Part I:
Sounded good enough to me. My plan was coming to fruition slowly but surely. Several months passed and everything seemed okay, Angela was none the wiser. Whenever the talk of marriage came up, I'd laugh it off and say, "One day, hehe..." Everyone would have a good laugh and the topic would just change on its own accord. Everything continued smoothly until one March day the unthinkable happened... All of a sudden Angela decided, "I want to go to Hawaii in October!" My plan suddenly went spiraling out of control. How am I going to afford Hawaii, the ring, the Vegas trip, and pay my bills? The genius that I am locked up a majority of my funds in a time deposit that would mature in January 2006.
We began planning for our Hawaii trip, researching flights, hotels, activities. (Edit: When I say "We" I really mean "Angela" because I'm very helpful that way.) "We" put together a pretty nice package that was reasonably cheap. I specifically managed to weasel in a Dinner Cruise on Oct 11th. (I’ll get to that later in the story). My brain started churning out ideas. “Why wait until February? Why not use this trip to Hawaii to my advantage? Why does thinking about spending this much money hurt my wallet?” I cracked into my financial budget and reworked the numbers. I began my own separate research for engagement rings online.
Since I was starting at the level of not knowing the difference between a carrot and a carat I started to research what exactly a diamond ring was, before I researched how to purchased one. (Edit: Man, can I tell you how crazy it is to shop for a ring; the 4 C's, brilliance, tables, settings, GIAs... I think I developed an aneurism researching this stuff.) I visited forums, talked to jewelers, online and off. (Edit: For those of you who don't know, or those of you that do, Angela is my trump card. Anything and I mean anything, I can ask her, she'll know where to go, where to get the best price, and 4 other places to make comparisons. If she doesn't know, she knows the exact person to ask! Hey don’t laugh. Some of you guys use her too, don’t lie.) And now was the time I needed her the most. But I was on my own! (Thanks to those of you who helped me through this, you know who you are!) I finally found a company named Abazias, and started building a rapport with a sales person. They helped me answer a few more questions and helped me build the most perfect ring. After the budget was worked out, it was all mine.
October was coming around the corner, and I had the ring in hand, well hidden at home. Other ideas started manifesting in my head. (Edit: Here's a little tidbit for those of you who don't know me yet, I tend to view things slightly out of skew. I'm not very good at lateral thinking puzzles because my type of thinking tends to go into 3-D. Do I travel the path already created or walk my own path? My answer is that I'd probably climb a tree and see which will lead me to where I'm going before I decide. Jumping off the cliff might actually be the fastest way to get to my destination...). I started up my research again, this time focusing on Chinese wedding and Filipino wedding traditions. I decided to pick and choose certain aspects that I thought would be appropriate for us. A plan started to formulate:
During this time, Angela was taking night classes on Thursday nights (if she even went that is, but that's Angela's story…). Since we spend most of our time together, timing and scheduling was of the essence. Given the sensitivity of our schedule, too early would be too risky, and too late was not an option. So I timed my plan so that on this specific Thursday, (Edit: the Thursday before our Saturday morning flight to Hawaii) I would drive Angela to class, then drive to her brother and ask for his blessing, then drive to her parents and ask for their permission, before driving back to pick her up from school. In my head the timing seemed right, taking into account speed limit, stop lights, adequate conversation, and the fact I'm usually late picking her up from class anyways! She again should have been none the wiser. I'm not sure if anyone reading this has watched the old 80s movie "Clue" starring Tim Curry, but here's what really happened:
Thursday afternoon, mid-day Angela told me, "My sister and her husband want to go to Hog Island Oyster Company by the Ferry building for happy hour oysters for my birthday, and then they’ll drive me back home to print my term paper." I practically jumped. That'll give me extra time. It's looking good so far. I tell her, I might work late so I'll just see her when I pick her up from school. I get off an hour early, take the bus back home, grab the loaner car that Angela’s brother let me borrow (since he was in the process of fixing my car) and drive to her brother. At this time, only 4 people in the world knew what I was planning.
(Side Story: I'd like to take the time to digress a little and explain one of the Chinese traditions I decided to use. Before I begin you may want to use this time to get up, stretch, grab a snack, or bio break, we’re not nearly done yet… )
There is a Chinese tradition for the groom's family to present small pastries to the bride’s family (in English they are called messenger cakes or bridal cakes). These cakes are given by the groom’s family to the bride’s family to show the groom’s intention of marriage. The cakes also act as a way for the bride's family to share the news, by distributing the cakes to their relatives and friends. I had no idea what this meant but it sounded good. I asked every Chinese person I knew, to get more details regarding this particular tradition, and what was their unanimous answer? "What the heck are you talking about??? I have no idea what you're talking about!!! You’re crazy! Man that must be some old tradition, no one does that anymore." (Edit: Why is it afterwards, after I find out what they're actually called in Chinese (from Angela nonetheless), again their unanimous answer is "Oh, I know what that is, why didn’t you say that???" Sometimes I just have to wonder, why me?) So my resources were absolutely and undeniably more useless than I was. So I turned to Chinese bakeries. Can I mention that that was also pointless? Out of 10 bakeries, 2 bakeries had someone who spoke English. And they gave me the same answer "What are you talking about?" I was basically so out of luck...
Back to the story... As I was racing home, I thought about the Chinese bakery near my house. I could ask them, and if they didn’t know what I was talking about, I'd make something up. I figured that if I didn’t know what I was talking about and Chinese bakery owners didn’t know what I was talking about, Angela’s brother wouldn’t know what I was talking about, right? So as I got there, I heard something all too familiar, "What are you talking about?" Forget that, I just grabbed some pastries. Well, her brother works pretty hard and late, he might've missed lunch. He has some guys at his shop who aren't Chinese and being the generous spirit he is, he'd probably share with them too. So I just started grabbing everything, from sweet pastries to savory meat items. It's the thought that counts right? So as I pulled up to his shop, loe and behold, her brother was out on a smoke break with one of his mechanics. He was staring at me like I had a foot growing out of my forehead. "Hey, I told Ang (Edit: MAN she hates that nick name. Only her family can get away with it apparently) your car isn't ready yet." I slowly get out of the car with the box of pastries.
Up until this point I was fine. On the fly I put together this ingenious plan. I spent months working on a ring. And now all of a sudden, my stomach started spinning. I shook off the queasy feeling and made my way over to her brother and his mechanic. Before I got to say anything, he said, "Hey, this is one of my mechanics, this is Gil, my sister's... well my future brother-in-law. So Gil, what's up?" For a split second, I freeze, it seemed like the whole world stopped, pointed at me and said, "HAHA, you suck!" I shook that off and offered the box of pastries to her brother and said, "Well, actually that's something I wanted to talk to you about..." Now it was his turn to freeze. He looked at me. He looked at the box. He looked at me. He looked at his mechanic. He looked at me. "No way!" He looked at the box "No way!" He looked at his mechanic, (who by the way was staring at him like he was crazy) "No way!" He was grinning like mad man. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not but I had to get this out, for the sake of posterity. "I was wondering… if it would be okay… if I could ask your sister to marry me." (Edit: Apparently he was part of that Elite club who knew about the pastry thing. You guys really need to expand your membership... one person in the world is certainly not enough!) He took the box and shook my hand and said, "Of course, of course. Aw man, you're gonna beat me to getting married..." (Edit: Apparently no one beats him when he gets competitive! But that’s his story…). Just as I was thinking the world was all good, my phone rang. Before I looked to see who it is, I got the worst feeling in my stomach. I saw Angela's name on caller ID…
As I answered my phone, her brother went on to explain to his mechanic what the pastries meant (Edit: I mean come on, Nothing against Angela’s brother but there has to be more than the three of us standing there outside of an auto shop that know what the pastries are. If one of you people reading this says YOU knew, I will crawl through this story and strangle you! Where were you when I needed you???)
Angela said, "Where are you? Why aren't you home yet? I have class you know..."
"Why are YOU home, I thought you were going to Hog Island with your sister? Where's your sister?"
"They are here. There was too long of a line there so we just went home. They want to get something off of our computer. He brought his laptop"
"That may be a problem, we are on a wireless network”
"Oh. Hey, where are you anyways???"
"I'm at your brother's shop, I think I left something in the other car, I'm coming home now" "Hurry Up!"
I looked at the time. I was thinking I could still do this. Her class started at 7:00, it was only 6:00. I gave her brother the update and he looked at his watch, "Will you be able to make it?”
"I think so."
"Want me to drive my parents out here tomorrow night, and then you can ask them?"
"Nah, thanks tho. I can't sneak away from Angela without her being suspicious."
I tell him several times, "Don't tell anyone. I mean it. NO ONE! You are the first one to know." He smiled only a smile that an older brother could know. It's kind of a mixture between pride, and that devious look a child has when he just stole the last cookie from the cookie jar and no one has yet to find out. I didn't have time to ponder that, I was running out of time. We said our good byes and I headed for home.
As I walked through the door everyone was waiting for me, practically tapping their feet. We talked for a while on how we were going to get what he needed off of our computer and on to their laptop. The entire time, I pictured a gigantic hourglass dumping sand on my head. We eventually come to the conclusion that wireless won't cut it. He decided he'd go to his brother's house, grab a spare hard drive, bring it over and then we'd copy the files over, from hard drive to hard drive. When they left to get the hard drive, Angela got on the computer and pulled up her term paper. I say, "You haven’t printed it yet? Well, I guess its okay. We have time, print it and let's go."
"Let me make some final adjustments."
6:55PM "It's getting late we better head out."
"Not yet, almost done"
7:05PM "Ready?"
"No, shhh!"
I can still make it I think to myself.
7:20PM "Ready yet?"
"Stop bothering me!"
7:30PM "?"
"I deleted a paragraph so I have to rewrite a new one to make the word minimum."
7:45PM Her sister and her husband came back with the hard drive, and let me know they were hungry and were going to grab something to eat.
8:15PM "okay let's go, why are you rushing me???"
"Oh nothing..." I realized there was no way I could make it out to her parents...
Part II:
Angela and I don't have a “mine” and “hers”. We simply have “ours” and “ours”. So packing came to be quite a challenge. We were packing for 10 days, which seemed simple enough except for the fact I was going to pack the ring in the luggage. (I know, I know. How stupid must I be to pack something that valuable in the luggage? I was thinking more along the lines of airport security. You know if I had the ring and the box on my persons, through the metal detector... How am I going to explain that to Angela? "But you coulda..." Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda, but didn't. Live with it... I have.) Without really thinking, I grabbed the most secure case we had and started packing it. Angela was off doing prep stuff in another room, so I started cramming as much of everything I could into the case. “Man-packing”… gotta love it. Just as she walked into the room, I was clicking the luggage lock. She said, "Are you serious? What about my stuff!?"
"I packed some of your stuff."
She pointed at all the items neatly folded on the bed, "That stuff?"
"Heh heh, yeah…" I grabbed an empty bag and we packed the rest of the stuff together. And then all of the sudden, the phone rang...
Angela’s brother called and said he was outside. Me heart suddenly skips a beat. I'm thinking this can’t be that good. Hopefully he just wanted to know what to do with the car if he finished fixing it while we were away. So we went outside. It was 11pm at night. It was very cold. He stepped out of the car and hugged Angela. First of all, none of the Woos hug. Ever. Even I was shocked he did that. Then a light clicked on in my head. The Woos are also known for not being able to keep secrets. He was going to expose my plan. Great! He turned to me grinning fiendishly, "Hey bro" and gave me a light jab to the arm. This was not good.
Angela started to freak out, "What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing just wanted to say bye to my baby sister..."
From inside the car, his girlfriend yelled out, "Stop it! Sorry guys he's a little drunk..." Thank God for her. Angela and her brother started to talk about the car and other family stuff, so I walked over to his girlfriend and said my thanks for her discretion. She said, "Congratulations, I hope you don't mind but he told me."
"Of course I don't mind if he told you, I just meant no one else. I wanted to ask Angela's parents before we left. But I didn’t get the chance to get out there. I want Angela to be the one to tell everyone else when we get back."
"I'll make sure he doesn't tell."
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he doesn’t say anything.” I'll say it again, thank God for her.
Mini Trip Journal:
Day One The trip itself didn’t start off on a good note. On the flight over, my allergies went crazy. Those of you who know me, know of my "allergies". I’m not a pretty sight. I spent the first day and night in Hawaii in bed, sleeping off a potent cocktail of Dayquil, Nyquil, and Benadryl. The next day I was much better, but still trying to get over the jetlag. I had a mild panic attack when I realized in my allergy medicine-induced slumber, Angela unpacked... Good thing I'm better at hiding things than Angela gives me credit for... And while I was in La-La-land, we received a delightful call from Angela’s brother. Here his how the conversation went down:
“Hey Ang, how’s the trip?”
“We just landed and Gil’s allergies are trying to kill him, what you want?”
“ZZzzz”
“Nothing, just want to see how it’s going that’s all”
“Not that great.”
“ZZzz, who’s that? ZZzz”
“It’s, my brother. I’ll talk to you later, bye!”
“Zzz, that’s nice… WHAT!? What did he want? What did he say?”
“Take this go back to sleep.”
Gulp. “Wait what did he want, what… did… he… ZZZzzz”
Up until that day, I had no idea how or where to propose. I asked a few people and they gave me the standard Hawaii answer, “Propose on the beach!” That just didn’t seem original. And that's when it hit me, I'll ask on our dinner cruise. What better place to propose than on the water she loves. It still wasn’t very original, I know. But it fits us.
Day Two-Three The next few days were a lot better, but in the back of my mind I had to keep a constant watch for Angela and the luggage. Every time she wanted to get something from any suitcase, I jumped and offered to get it myself.
Day Four 10/11/2005 Today, was the day. I mean THE day. THE day that would change our lives forever. Remember how I mentioned earlier how my stomach was spinning? Well that queasy feeling graduated to Hurricane Status. I wasn't sick, but I was really not feeling well. I was so nervous I actually gave myself symptoms: cramps, sweats, stomach gurgles, weak knees, and slight dizziness. I was an absolute wreck. As the cruise time came closer, I began formulating my fiendish plan. As we were changing for dinner (It's Hawaii, who changes for dinner?) I asked if Angela could wear something nice. Confused she said "ok, why not?" We were dressed nicely (compared to everyone else who were all comfortable and relaxed and stuff). She wore a beautiful dress. I was wearing slacks and an unbuttoned dress shirt. I was just about ready to go when suddenly I thought of something… Where was I going to put the ring?!? I had no idea where to put it. I put the box in my pocket, but that wouldn't do. It was too obvious. I was not about to leave the box at the hotel and bring the ring il flagrante. I'm more paranoid than a UFO theorist. You can't begin a proposal with "Oops. It really WAS a nice ring…" Plan B, ingeniously I took the digital camera out of the case and held it in my hand, then I put the ring box in the camera case. I attached that through my belt loop and left it dangling off my belt inconspicuously. As we grabbed a taxi, she asked why I didn't put the camera away; I told her I was taking pictures, so I began taking pictures of absolutely nothing. “Ooh look, a light pole.” “Wow, a bird!” “Look a car!” What’s that? A Tourist, oooooh!”
We boarded the boat and took our seats. We sat next to a lovely couple who were celebrating their wedding anniversary. They asked us what we were celebrating. I could only smile inside. Not wanting to divulge her birthday and risk a waiter serenade, Angela said it was for no reason at all, it was a vacation she promised herself, and that she allowed me to tag along. I tried to smile but my nerves were getting the best of me. At that moment the boat started to leave the dock. The host took center stage and started asking everyone to get up and say what they were in Hawaii for. People started yelling out, "Getting married!" "1st Anniversary!?" "5th Anniversary!" "10th Anniversary!" It started turning into a “Mine is bigger” contest. 75 years won. Congrats to them. I was still working on proposing so I couldn't really worry about them. As Angela turned her attention to the outlandish spectacle of couples battling over how long they've been married, I carefully pulled the ring box out of the camera case and put it in my pocket. Then the host asked everyone to stand up and they were showing people how to bunny hop.
I have to admit, this trip I surprised Angela (and even myself) and really came out of my shell. I participated in the most stupidest things with a laugh and smile. But the bunny hop!? I grabbed her and took her outside. I decided then, to wait until the setting sun kissed the water before I was going to propose. We were hanging out by the side railing, laughing at all the people starting the Macarena. Other people followed our lead and started heading outside. For as much as I wanted to show off to everyone, it was getting too crowded and my nerves weren't very forgiving. I took her up top where there were less people. We started staring off into the water, making small talk. I kept nervously looking over her shoulder watching the sun set lower and lower in the sky. Darn Hawaii time, it was almost 8:00 and the sun was no where near the water. By the time I came to my senses, and tuned back into our conversation, I looked around and all these people were standing around us. I was willing to bet that more than a few of those guys were in the same predicament as me. I really didn't feel like sharing my moment with these people. I took Angela up to a smaller landing just above the rest of the people, and just below the cockpit. At this point I was barely able to contain myself. I was sweating horribly, my stomach was worse than in knots; I was actually visibly shaking by this point. At least the sun was almost touching the water...
I leaned on the railing next to Angela, and stared out at the sunset. I was fighting to get the words out of my throat. They weren’t coming out right. Thoughts of this moment crashing and burning started dancing around my every thought. I shook away those thoughts and turned to Angela. "Are you happy?" The words slowly, quietly made their way out. She finally turned her gaze away from the sunset and finally saw me in the state I was in. She almost gasped. Great, I really did look horrible. She asked me if I was alright. I asked again, louder this time. "Are you happy?" She said, "Yes" and adds another forceful "What’s wrong, are you okay? Are you sea sick?" I laughed at the thought. I had no idea anymore. I couldn’t worry about that right then. I had to get through this with as much grace and dignity as I could’ve mustered. I finally managed to subdue my nerves. I wasn’t shaking anymore. I wasn’t anything anymore. I took on an almost grim face and stared right into her. I told her, "I'm not as happy as I could be." The words sounded like a slap. That really didn't come out right. That was so NOT how I wanted to start. That and the way I felt I looked. Angela looked shocked, surprised, and a little hurt. "Wh-What do you mean?" she asked. I have to find away to recover this. But my brain shut down. My mouth was still moving but I wasn’t thinking straight. "Well, we've been together for a long time now. We've been through a lot. We've had our ups and our downs, and we've made it this far." She stared at me long and hard. I could tell a thousand thoughts were racing through her mind. This will stun most of the people out there that know her, but she was at a loss for words. It had to be this way. If she started talking I would never have gotten this out. I would never do what I intended to do. I took her hands in my hands. "Am I happy? I guess I am.” A slight pause. “But I know I could be happier. There's only one thing that would truly make me happy..." I let go of her hands, slide down to one knee, and produce the ring box from my pocket. I pop open the box and show her the ring. "Will you do me the honor of being my wife?"
As this story is a testament, she said yes. Suffice it to say, I was relieved after that. I was able to eat full meals. My stomach no longer tried to twist and shout. The world was good. It was finally time to break the news to her parents…
Part III:
The trip was over. Just like that. We were able to leave with fond memories (Edit: Except for the stomach pains, and sweats and stuff) and were on our journey back to “the mainland.” Since we left ourselves a few days extra of vacation to settle back into the everyday grind of our normal lives, we decided to break the news to Angela's parents over some lunch. We traveled down to Chinatown, and picked up some food. While down there, I told her the trials and tribulations I had to go through to propose. She laughed. I guess anyone would laugh after the fact. This is Angela of course. She knows everything! (Or she makes it up. Come on, like you guys can tell… Well she doesn’t know everything, I just let her think that!) She walked me around the corner and said, "You mean these cakes. They're called Lo-Pao-Beng. You should have asked me I could've told you where to get it." I shook my head… no help at all... Anyways, we purchased some from a bakery that specializes in these cakes. (Edit: Go figure, a bakery that specializes in these cakes... I picture a flash of lightning, the clouds part, and rays of sunshine all over the place... Ta-da, everyone now knows what the heck I'm talking about. They all know the cakes I'm referring to. They all know of this well known bakery. Yo, you guys... You gotta get out more...)
So we call her parents, "Hi mommy, Gilbert and I are going to come visit you for lunch and tell you about our trip."
"Why? Eeh, so far?"
"We have stuff for you."
"Eeh, we'll come down to the city on Saturday. You don’t come here now. We're busy." "Mommy... Let me talk to daddy." *phone changes hands*
"Hi, Ah-Bee."
"Daddy, tell mommy we're going to come visit you for lunch."
"You don’t have work? We're far away."
"Daa-ddy..."
"Fine fine… Hey! *silent poke to Angela’s mother’s side* Ah Bee and A-Gil are coming for lunch."
*in the background* "Ai-yah ok"
So we drove out to her parent’s workplace. We had a few presents like the traditional “came back from Hawaii” stuff; Pineapples, pictures, and small trinkets... We got to their work and we set up lunch in an empty conference room (well partly empty, one of their co-workers decided to have lunch in there as well). We placed all the food out and explained what dishes we got. Once that was done, Angela said, "Gilbert brought something for you too." I turn and look and notice that their co-worker decided to stop eating so she can listen to our not so quiet exchange. Well, not the most intimate environment but whatever, I've come this far, right? I produce the box of cakes and hand it to her mom. "I wanted to present these to you. They are..."
She took the box, opened it and poked her husband. "Ay look!” He turns to see what she’s pointing at.
“Wow, how nice." She hands one pastry to Angela’s father and I slowly continue, "Yeah, these are Low…Paw…Bengs. (I’m spelling this phonetically, because I’m Filipino!). I wanted to get them for you t..."
And before I finish she says, "Oh… Lo Pao Bengs! These are very nice! You know traditionally, well, not so much today, but before, a long time ago, couples used to use these cakes to announce engagements."
So I take this opportunity to say, "Yeah, I..."
But she continues, "Well actually the husband would get these for the woman he's going to marry. But not anymore… no one does that anymore. Oh these are the REAL traditional ones… very fresh. How nice…"
I swallow the lump in my throat. "Yes, I wanted to speak with you about something." They’re poking the still warm sponge cake.
"Uh-huh…" Still looking at the cakes.
"I wanted to ask..."
Her mom looks up. "Uh-huh."
Now or never. "Well, I was wondering if I could have your daughter's hand in marriage." Whew. "Oh, Yeah yeah, sure sure… of course when you guys are ready…" She pokes her husband. "Hey, pass me the chow fun." He passed the box over.
I don’t think they get it, let’s try again. "Well I was wondering if it would be okay if I married Angela."
She’s pulling noodles out of the box onto her paper plate. "Of course of course, hey, I said pass me the..." Angela’s father is shoveling meat onto my plate.
"MOM!" Angela thrusts out her hand, with the ring displayed. "He’s trying to tell you we’re engaged!" I gave up and sighed, "Yeah what she said." And here, another Woo first, all related to the same event, two more of the Woos have nothing to say... (Edit: Apparently for the quietest person they have ever met, I have this affect on the family). A tear starts to form on the rim of Angela’s mom’s eye and I think she gets it now. Her father keeps saying "oh." And he smiles the grin that he’s known for and says, "oh… you’re gonna make me cry". And her mother wipes her eyes… and then like any mom wants to see the ring up closer. Congratulations go around… including from their co-worker sitting a few seats away. Not more than 5 minutes pass, "So where are you having the banquet???"
This concludes our story. Stupid website only limits me to 2000 characters. If you really think about, can you really deliver this kind of story in 2000 characters or less? For me, Gilbert, the quietest guy that everyone knows, I couldn't do it. I hope it made you laugh; I hope it brought a tear to your eye. I hope it warns all you other suckers out there of what’s to come. I'm not vying for the best proposal you have ever heard, I just wanted to share with you ours.
